The Answer is not Self Care- It is Giving of Self

I have been struggling lately with feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks that I am responsible for. I think a lot of it is just adjusting to being a mom. While becoming a mom has been a dream come true and an answer to many prayers, it doesn’t mean motherhood is without challenges. It has been the most fun yet most difficult journey I have embarked on. It stretches me beyond what I can give. Motherhood demands more of myself than I have to offer. Some days I feel like I somewhat know what I am doing, but then other days I feel like I have absolutely no clue. Every day is a learning experience. 

As I mentioned before, I have been feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the tasks before me. I see taking care of my house or tending to my baby as a weight on my shoulders rather than a privilege and honor that it is. My selfish flesh cries out for “me time.” The old me would think joy or happiness is found in something that I do for myself, like watch my favorite tv show (Hello Chip and Jo), take a bath, or go on a walk. While it IS important to rest, I never want to put my wants and needs above anyone else's, especially above my husband and child. But unfortunately, that is what I have been doing, and I am not afraid to admit that. Sure, I have given much of myself to them, but that doesn’t mean my heart and motives have been in the right place all along. So I have decided to shift my perspective on what gives me joy.

Hold that thought— sweet baby boy woke up. 

Back to what I was saying… 

Instead of waiting around for an unrealistic amount of “me time” to give me joy, I am going to be joyful as I am washing dishes. I am going to be joyful when by baby wakes up for the fourth time in the night. I am going to find joy in cooking my husbands favorite meal, even after a long day of cleaning. I am going to find joy in the Lord! Instead of scrolling on my phone, consumed in other people’s lives, I am going to choose to look at the life that is right in front of me. I am going to choose to be thankful for the little glimpses of God’s faithfulness in the mundane, instead of being blinded from it by being caught up in everyone else’s life. I don’t say these things to make myself look good, because quite honestly my flesh wants that “me time”. My flesh doesn’t want to put others first. This change in my perspective and motivation behind why I do things is only because of the change that God has done in me. He has brought me from death to life. So while I am going to be thankful for the times of rest and quietness, I am not going to let my joy be rooted in those times because not all days promise many quiet moments of rest. This world tells us that we need to do what makes us happy. We are told over and over again to put ourselves first. But the truth is this: eternal joy is found in serving others first.

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:1-11

Jesus is the ultimate example of what it looks like to put others needs before our own. 

So many times I catch myself praying, “God, if you would only give me thirty minutes to just sit. If you’d only give me time to eat my food in peace. If you’d only give me, give me, give me…”. While He DOES offer those times of rest that I am grateful for, I must remember that He has already given me what I truly need: Himself. I cannot have the mindset of thinking, “I need God AND something else”. God alone is sufficient. When I choose to find rest and joy in Him, I can wake up every morning and face the day before me knowing that I already have all that I need. 

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Because God was faithful to provide for us a way to be one with Him through His Son Jesus Christ, He will be faithful to provide for our every need. We must remember that He knows what we truly need. It might not always look like what we thought it would, but we can trust that He knows what He is doing. So instead of asking for what I think I need, I am going to instead be grateful that I already have all that I need in Christ. A life dependent on Christ, our firm foundation, is a life of eternal contentment and joy. 

“For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 3:11

“Therefore this says the Lord God: 'Behold, I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation, a tried stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation.” Isaiah 28:16

In a world that tells us we need to please ourselves first in order to have joy, it is hard to grasp this concept of joy being found in quite the opposite: putting others first. As a new mom, I have learned just how self centered I am. It is HARD most days to put my wants aside and my family's needs first, but then I remember what Christ did on the cross for us, and how He laid down all of His comfort, His desires, His wants, His LIFE so I am able to have eternal life in Him. I am a new creation because I trust Him as my Lord. I can choose to honor Him and glorify His name through my actions. I can honor Him by responding with grace and joy to my everyday tasks that lie before me. We can know that these actions have an impact on eternity—even in our very own homes.