The Gospel Changes How We Parent

In our society, we hear so much about how children can be a burden. How they steal our lives and suck the joy out of us. How they drive us crazy and push us to indulge in unhealthy habits in order to “escape” from parenting. Here’s the thing: parenting IS HARD. It pushes us to lay down our wants/desires and put our child needs above our own. Personally, being a mom has revealed to me just how selfish I can be at times. We have children thinking they are the only ones that are in need of pruning and sanctifying. We have this mindset that we are the ones teaching and molding them. While it is our job to teach our children, we must remember how much we still have to learn, and be willing to be pruned by the Lord as well. There have been days I felt I was running on fumes, and I’m sure I’ll have more—but what’s important is that we don’t stay there. Parenting tests us in more ways than one. All around us, we hear how difficult parenting is, and while it is the truth, it’s not the full truth. Parenting can be full of so much joy. How? I’m talking about the joy beyond the moments of hearing your babies first words, watching them take their first steps, listening to their giggles in the bath, seeing them learn new things, or playing their first sport. These moments are some of the best moments I’ve had in my life, don’t get me wrong. My heart skips a beat when I think about how much I love Jon Luke and watching him grow. What we must remember is that some days aren’t going to be filled with many “fun” moments. Sleep will be little, tantrums will be thrown, milk will be spilled, naps will be skipped.

Just like how it was before we had kids, life will happen.

I’m not here to say that parenting is all full of rainbows and butterflies, but I’m also not here to say that it’s all miserable and bad. I’m here to say that there is so much more that can go into parenting when we seek the Lord in every moment. When we remember that we too are in need of sanctification and forgiveness. Our perspective towards our children and their behavior completely changes when we have this posture of heart. We no longer discipline in rage or anger but instead out of love because that’s how our Father disciplines us. We are able to be patient and tender with them in their moments of learning/growing (nicer words for having a temper tantrum), because that’s how God is towards us. We no longer get frustrated when things don’t go our way, but instead learn to trust that God is going to provide strength for us in every circumstance. The entirety of how we parent changes (or should change) when we have been transformed into His image through salvation in Him. This is where true joy comes in parenting. True joy is found when we are seeking the Lord moment by moment, and also thanking Him for working in us as we raise the children He has given us. There have been times I have tried to reject this pruning, because well, it’s not very fun to be honest. But I have learned that when I embrace it and remember that “His power is made perfect in my weakness” (1 Corinthians 12:8-10) , His power is able to be seen by others instead of me just trying to do it on my own. It’s not about other parents looking to us for how to be a perfect parent, but to share with others how the Lord has transformed not only our parenting but our entire lives by His grace. It’s tempting to want others to approve of our parenting styles, what we feed our children, where we send them to school, or what kind of clothes we put on them. This puts the focus on us as parents and not on what God is doing in us, as well as our kids, as we raise the next generation.

This all begins with the miraculous story of the gospel. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, Who is perfect and without sin to take our place and die the death we all deserve. Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, we are able to be forgiven and be given new life in Him. We have hope in Him. Because of His love towards us, we can show love towards others. This is how our parenting can be drastically different as well as all other aspects of our life. Colossians 3:3 says, “For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” As a believer, Christ’s death on the cross makes us dead in our sins, and His resurrection gives us new life in Him. We are no longer a slave to who we were apart from Him, and how we live our lives should be proof of this transformation. The gospel changes how we parent because the gospel brings us from death to life.

As I said before, life is going to happen when we have children just like it did before we had them. Where will you turn? Where will I turn? Will it be social media, where we find an endless amount of parenting “advice”? Will we read parenting books, desperate for some kind of answer as to how to raise these children with joy? Both social media and parenting books can be helpful resources, but they shouldn’t be where our parenting is found upon. Friend, God’s word is so full of the truth and wisdom that we need. It is in His word that we find the only resource we truly need. Wasn’t it Him Who created you, and Who created the children He blessed you with? He knows what we need in every moment.

And I want to remind you of something— God cares about you, the mama or daddy who often times feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. He is gently parenting you as you are parenting your little (or big) ones. We do not have to walk through parenting alone. Not only is He there to help us and guide us through parenting and other seasons of life—but through it all, He is after our heart. We can rest in knowing that we are cared for and longed for as we are pouring of ourselves to those we have been entrusted with.

John 15:2

Psalm 86:15

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Psalm 139:23-24

1 John 4:19

Romans 5:8

If you are reading this and have not yet chosen to trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, or just need some encouragement, I want to encourage you to please reach out to me and I would love to talk with you about any questions/concerns you might have. My number is 2566840208, feel free to text or call! :)

Photo credit: Rachel Clarke Photography